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I Walked Home Alone

from Aftercare by Carl Sagan's Cosmic Lantern

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about

For the entire extent of my adult life I have found myself overly eager to argue, debate or flat out scream my thoughts on whatever I considered a worthwhile fight in that moment at whomever was unfortunate enough not to agree. I drank and used drugs daily while telling other people what their problems were.... I thrived on confrontation and dramatic fights to sustain some emotional distance in my interpersonal relationships. I lived for only drugs and alcohol. I couldn't have anyone caring enough to tell me to stop.... especially if I cared enough to listen. Once I did stop using I had to make a lot of necessary and difficult separations from the things in my life that were no longer meaningful. It can be a very lonely transition. Most days I am a very happy person now and I don't seek out conflict. The struggles I face learning to live differently are a new kind of fight.

lyrics

When the revolution ended I walked home alone. I walked home alone. Now I'm not so sure what we were fighting for. What were we fighting for? It's all just a blur. It's kind of like the time that we drove home high and you jerked the wheel just to slap me. We were spinning 'round on the interstate as the cars passed by. I was loving the confusion. Never knew what I was doing, but I always wanted more. When we got home I fucked you against the bathroom wall. It was something to fight for. Something to die for. Something to make me scream "this is why I'm alive!". Something to fight for. Something to live for. Something to make me smile if I manage to grow old. When the revolution ended I walked home alone. I walked home alone. Someday I'll be a Buddhist Monk or maybe just a vegan punk. Someday I'll get a purple heart just for not shooting dope too much. I can meditate and I can just barely stay clean. I eat lots of fruit and soy and shit and it don't change anything. Because everyday is a fight and everyday is a fight and everyday is a fight these days. Everyday is a fight and everyday is a fight and everyday is a fucking fight these days.

credits

from Aftercare, released March 14, 2015
All of our music is available for FREE just click "Buy Now" and enter $0 to download and share freely. Donations are appreciated and that money goes to The Rose City Underground Inc. "Community Center Initiative" in Pana, IL. You can read about that here: www.rosecityunderground.org

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Carl Sagan's Cosmic Lantern Pana, Illinois

We are an acoustic music collective from Central Illinois. Our music is often comprised of solo effort, but shaped by group expression. Music is personal and we are people.

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